First there was the angry IVF, then the perfectionist IVF. This is going to be my "whatever" IVF.
I stopped the acupuncture (real expensive at $70/week, plus stressful to leave work and go have it done). I've had a glass of wine or two in the last month. Nothing serious, but I'm not going to worry. I'm pretty much going into it with a little hope, and a lot of casualness. I'm not as angry (but still a little), and I'm not running around trying to be perfect (but I'm still trying).
Now, I can't help that I'll be keeping charts each day to show the follicle and lining measurements and comparing to the previous tries. I can't help that I be googling up a storm.
But I guess I'm going into this one with a lot less expectation. Just another $14k out of the bank account. We've already decided that we will go to DE after this. And I will go back to the first clinic because it has a higher success rate by about 15%. I like to have a backup plan (even though I've always changed the plan, I like to have it).
You Make Yourself Sad
16 hours ago