Silly optimists we were, we still used protection after we got married. Well, I didn't want to have a bump for our wedding reception 3 months later, right?? Because of course, I was sure that the very first time we had unprotected sex, I would become pregnant (heck, it happened to me when I was 18, what could be different at 38, right?).
In fact, I had just started a new job, with a very high salary and responsibilities, so I couldn't go and get pregnant right away, now could I? I am the breadwinner in our family by a significant amount, so it was critical I not risk my new job by going on maternity leave right away. I was with my previous firm for 13 years and had developed a great reputation and security there. But I couldn't stand the commute to NYC and the 3+ hours it stole from my day, on top of putting in 10+ hours at work. So I carefully looked for another job and landed a better position 15 minutes from home. But I needed time to develop my reputation and prove myself. Then we traded in the townhouse for a 4 bedroom home that was even closer to the office. With both of us having a 10 minute commute to work, living in a family-friendly development, everything was falling into place.
And being the planner I am, I figured - hey, let's go get tested "just in case", so that when we're ready to start a family, we'll know what we're up against. Well, as mentioned in my previous posts, the results weren't good. In fact, the clinic suggested we try IVF right away. Whoa, hold on there! We're not even trying yet. IVF??? uh-uh, not a chance. How can I do IVF with my demanding job with lots of travel? No, no, no... we'll just try some ovulation kits and a little chlomid for a while, thank you very much. IVF, yeah, right! That's for other people, not me. They don't understand - I work hard, I plan, and I get things done. That's all I needed to do here. Besides, they're just telling me to do IVF right away because they make more money like that, right?
Ha ha ha... how smart I was back then, I knew it all
You Make Yourself Sad
16 hours ago