Monday, November 30, 2009

Thanksgiving, baby care class and OB appt.

Hope everyone had a great holiday!

Ours was nice, but a little bittersweet. My younger brother's wife passed away in March of this year during a routine hospital procedure, leaving my 30 year old brother and their 4 year old son. Her birthday was this past Saturday, so my brother planted a tree in the local park with a bench and a lovely plaque, right by the river, and held a dedication ceremony with close friends and family. He also had worked with her mom and other close friends to publish a beautiful memorial book with pictures of her throughout her life and letters, stories and memories contributed by friends and family. Including some incredibly heartbreaking and touching journal entries by their son. It was all very lovely, but incredibly sad. Made me and DH very thankful for what we have.

Afterwards, a bunch of their friends came over to my mom's and I think I met my match! This woman has a 16-month son, and she said she had all kinds of excel spreadsheets to help her prepare (um, not that there's any way they compare to mine, but still... :)), she had done a lot of research on c-sections and decided on an elective-c, and she continues to research, research, research. My mom listened to us talk back and forth in amazement - she thought I was the only one so neurotic!

Sunday was our caring for baby class, including a lot of safety information, which was great. The most surprising (depressing) tidbit I learned -- they do NOT recommend you put the "tot-finder" sticker from the fire department on the window of your child. Why? Because then pedophiles know which windows to break into. How horrible is that???? One of the expectant fathers in the class was a firefighter, and he said they now have stickers you can put on the inside hallway door to your child's room so that the firefighters know where to go once they are in the house.

The best part about the class is that my mom and MIL came, too! Since they will by watching our little one for 3 days a week between the two of them, they wanted a "refresher". I thought that was great that they wanted to spend the day learning the new techniques and were not at all stuck on how it was when they were moms.

And even though I had to pay to get them registered, it was money well spent as it got me completely out of a sticky situation. I love the in-laws, the whole family is great, but the one thing I can't stand is that they all smoke (except BIL and his wife). A lot. In their house, too. They completely respect not smoking in our house, but they frequently go outside for a smoke, and then come in reeking of it on their clothes. They also smoke in their cars, and sometimes when they enter our house for the first time, the smell almost knocks me out. I've read about studies about this "third-hand smoke" - smoke residue that is left on hair, skin, clothes, furniture, carpets, etc., and how bad it is for little babies, as their lungs are so much smaller than ours. The percentage of dangerous chemicals they will inhale when being held close by someone wearing a smoke filled shirt is very large compared to how it affects adults.

So, I've been concerned about this and have talked to DH about how to handle it. He agrees that we won't be going to their house to visit until the baby is much older, but he was not in agreement that they needed to change their shirts whenever they came to our house and whenever they went outside for a smoke. I think he might have understood in theory, but did not feel comfortable telling them this. I told him I would blame it on the pediatrician's instructions, but he was still not comfortable. I was letting it ride for a while, but getting to the point where I was going to talk to them myself and deal with any fallout from DH later.

Well, the instructor of the class addressed this directly and had the exact same advice - need to change your shirt after smoking (in addition to washing your hands, which everyone should be doing). MIL didn't know this and was glad to be told, even made the comment that she will need to bring a supply of shirts to our house. I said yeah - and FIL/SIL, too, and she absolutely agreed. Whew - sticky situation averted!

And that brings me to this morning's OB appointment. All continues to be good - measurements are right on track, and she even did a real quickie u/s and found that the baby's head is back down again. I think the baby is really flipping around a lot, because I am feeling the craziest movements. Last night, the head was definitely sticking out of the side - the bulge was crazy, my stomach was so lopsided it was bizarre. I think we will have an active baby! I still haven't decided on a c-section or regular birth, but I have to say I am leaning towards a C. I know it sounds crazy, but it's where I'm leaning now. I might end up scheduling a C at 39w, which would be Dec 23rd, but then if I go into labor before, trying for a regular birth. I have more research to do...

I have also been cleared, once I hit 37w (9 more days to go) to get back onto the treadmill! Yay! They had me stop since I'm having so many contractions, but I hate not exercising. And since I will stop working right around then, it will be good to get this back in my schedule.

All in all, things are going great. Still no swelling, wedding rings fit, still wearing heels to work, still able to put my shoes on, still wearing the same maternity clothes (mostly), still have a flat belly button, up 20 pounds even with Thanksgiving eating, and just feeling real good in general. On the down side, it is difficult to get comfy while sleeping, I pee all the time, and the heartburn is bad, even with the Zantac. Oh yeah, and the constipation... But these are all minor in comparison.

And it was really cool to login today and find that I am on the last month of my ticker. That made me smile!


  1. That was quite an update! Such a sweet tribute your brother and family held for his wife. I'm sure the holidays must be so incredibly difficult for everyone.

    How amazingly awesome that the class addressed the specific concern you were having! Uh - AND - that your MIL was in agreement and took it in stride! I'm trying to imagine my mom and MIL in a class together with me. Then I stop. I have to, or I'll end up sticking a finger in my eye.

    Great OB appointment! And just 30 days to go! Why, seems like you just showed up here on this forum not all that long ago and were surprised at your BFP! My, my how the time flies!

  2. My mom would do the go-outside-to-smoke thing, and she always came back in reeking of nasty. I WISH someone with some kind of authority had been able to tell her to change her shirt - changing her hair would have been good, too... I had to just maneuver and make a lot of excuses after she returned so at least enough time would go by that she wasn't so toxic before she held my daughter. Luckily - miraculously!- she doesn't smoke any more.

    Glad you have only minor complaints and only 30 days left! Wow!