OK, what next?

After we started to recover and think about what to do next, I whipped my attitude into shape. I was one of them, deal with it. Stop trying to control everything, stop planning for a summer baby, stop being naive, stop getting overwhelmed by the complexity of the science. Do my research. Stop being angry, and get on board with everything. Stop feeling like this can't be happening to me because it was. This was not going to be easy, but I'm a smart, resourceful person. I've bought and sold houses on my own, done major renovations, rental properties. I figured all that out, I can figure this out.

So I did lots of research on drug protocols, clinics, stats, you name it, I read about it. And we decided we would move right to egg donor. We couldn't go through that kind of pain again. And we wanted a baby. And I wanted to be pregnant, and give birth and breast feed. Our minds were made up.

We did the post-IVF consult with the doc, and he said he did not think we should move to egg donor yet. He felt it was a good cycle, and we should just change up the drugs to see if I would respond better. He recommended going to the microflare protocol, which I knew all about. But I explained that we couldn't go through that disappointment again. The chances of success with my eggs was about 17%, and the chances with DE was over 60%. That's a huge difference.

Not to mention the money. The cost of IVF plus the meds I need to take comes to about $14k a cycle. The cost of a donor cycle plus meds would be about $34k. I'm a math major - it was way more cost-effective to go right to DE rather than to keep trying at such a low chance of success. I was not going to be one of those people that sunk all their money into IVF and ruins themselves financially. If I had a guarantee, I would spend it and be done with it, but there was no guarantee. I knew I was lucky to be secure enough financially to consider these options, but couldn't see spending this kind of crazy money with such a low chance of success. Not to mention the emotional exhaustion. This had really kicked our butts!