Can't sleep

So, it seems I'm waking up at around 4am every day....

Partially because I have to pee (but this is nothing new, I used to get up at least 1-2 times a night to pee anyway), but partially because my mind is racing. It's starting to sink in - I'm pregnant! I told my mom and dad yesterday, and a few close friends who have been following my IVF journey. Everyone is so excited, but I'm still very cautious and nervous.

I'm a little worried, now, about the high HCG. Google tells me it could be an indicator of Downs, which, of course, is a real worry for me at 40 (turning 41 in July). So I'm glad my ultrasound is Thursday, not much time to wait, and then maybe they'll tell me it's twins, or that I'm a week further along than I thought. Either would put my mind at ease a little.

That's the nervous side of me. The happy side of me spent some time on Quicken this morning, and it looks like my final tally (assuming all goes well and we truly get our baby) is about $25k out of pocket when all is said and done. Not bad, not bad at all. On the one hand, it's absolutely crazy, but compared to what I thought we'd have to spend, this is fabulous. I have great insurance coverage for pregnancy, it's just infertility that was lacking.

And the other very cool thing I'm trying to focus on is that my very good friend is also pregnant, and we're within 2 weeks of each other. She just had her 6 week u/s and the doc gave her a due date of Dec 18. I'm calculating mine to be the end of Dec, but it could be sooner. She's also struggled with 2 miscarriages, and 2 injectable IUIs, so she's being very cautious with her excitement with this one. But if we're both good, how fun would that be!!

So I'll try to focus on the good and hopeful thoughts and keep a good attitude. Maybe all my bad luck was used up in the "getting pregnant" process with all the BFNs, and so I'll I'll be lucky in the "staying pregnant" area!