31w update

Wow - 31w... only 2 months to go. It seems like time is flying, but also moving very slow.

A lot of great things are going on, and I have every reason to be ecstatic, but I have to admit, the dark side has been creeping up on me a bit. I'm scared that all of a sudden, there will be no heartbeat. I'm scared that something terrible will happen during the birth. Everything just seems too good to be true right now. I'm happy and positive 99% of the time, but sometimes that chilling worry sets in. I try to ignore it and rationalize that there's such a tiny chance of a problem at this stage, but I can't deny that the dark side still exists.

But now some good stuff!

We are making great progress on the nursery. DH (aka my night owl!)finished the painting at about 5am the morning the furniture was delivered. He still has to put up the chair rail, but he gave me the go ahead to decorate to my heart's content, and it will be easy for him to move things here and there to attach the chair rail, hopefully this weekend.

The furniture looks great, and I'm glad I did not overdo it. At first I was going to get the convertible crib, dresser/changing table with a hutch, and an armoire. Well, the armoire and the hutch pieces were discontinued, so I went with just the crib, dresser/changing, and I bought a smaller bookcase to replace the armoire, and a large mirror to go over the dresser, instead of the hutch attachment. Much better - I think the room would have looked too crowded with those other pieces, especially since the color is espresso, I think all that dark wood might have been overpowering.

But of course, nothing is simple.... first, the delivery guys put together the crib, and there was a bolt missing. Luckily DH was able to go to home depot and get a replacement. But worse, the changing table part of the dresser/changing table was also missing. There is a rectangular rail that attaches on top of the dresser where you put your changing pad, diaper supplies, etc. And once you outgrow diapers, you can take that off and have a regular, full sized dresser. I'm pretty sure what happened is that the delivery company took the dresser out of the box, loaded it to the truck, then threw out the box containing the rails. So now I have to work with BRU to get a replacement, and not surprisingly, it is becoming a big hassle, since this isn't an extra piece, it all comes together.

But, assuming I get that resolved in the next week or so, I'm really happy with how the nursery is coming along. The decorating is so much fun and it's looking really sharp so far. Once we get the closet organizers in, I'll be able to wash and put away all the clothes, and lots of other stuff from the shower. That will free up room in the playroom, which turned into the storage room the day after the shower! I love getting myself organized and putting everything in its place.

I've also written my birth plan, my hospital call list, and have finally taken the first step to officially change my last name to my DH's. With my position at work, and the recognition I have in my industry, I probably would have just kept my maiden name. However, my legal name now is not my maiden name, sadly, it's my ex-husband's name. I was married very briefly when I was 20, divorced at 21, and never went through the steps to change my name back. For no good reason except first, for embarrassment - starting a new job out of college and explaining why your last name was changing due to a divorce at such an early age; and, eventually, for laziness - it's a hassle to change everything!!

DH has been very patient - we've been married 2.5 years and while socially I've taken his name, legally and professionally, I'm still using my ex-husband's. I've had every intention of changing it, but life gets in the way, and things move down the priority list. Well, I went to the SS office yesterday, and will have my new card in 2 weeks. Then I can change my license and everything else after that. It might take a while to get every last thing changed (I have so much more "stuff" now than when I was 20), but at least I can sign the birth certificate with my husband's name, not my ex's! Needless to say, DH is very happy that I've finally done this...

That's about it for now. I'm looking forward to my OB appointment next week, and hopefully will get more information about c-section vs vaginal birth, and what the plan will be for me.

And hopefully, I can keep the dark side down!